There’s something nobody tells you about growing up…at some point, you stop blowing bubbles. You stop picking up cool-looking rocks. You stop making silly sound effects when you’re driving too fast down a hill. When you “grow up,” life gets far too serious, and somewhere along the way, you let the serious stuff push out the good, silly, sparkly stuff. You lose your childlike sense of wonder, whimsy, fun, and play.
I’m going to be honest…I didn’t notice it happening. That’s the sneaky part. One day, you’re a kid who thinks a cardboard box could be a spaceship, and the next thing you know, you’re a grown adult who can’t remember the last time you felt genuinely joyful or who experienced the wonder of something.
I’m in my fifties now. And I’m here to tell you…I’m getting it back.
When did we decide wonder was only for kids?
Think back to the last time you were truly awestruck. Not impressed, not satisfied, but actually stopped in your tracks with awe, like the world just handed you something unexpectedly magnificent. For me, it had been a while. A long while. Years…maybe even decades.
Midlife has this funny reputation for being all crisis and no joy. But I think what’s really happening for a lot of us is that we finally slow down enough to notice what’s missing. And what I noticed? I had quietly, politely, responsibly decided that wonder was not for me anymore. I had to focus on adulting.
But it turns out that’s a terrible idea. And I have the unfulfilled, bored, going-through-the-motions chapter of my life to prove it.
What reconnecting with whimsy actually looks like
I want to be real with you…this is not about buying yourself a hammock or going to a pottery class (though honestly, zero shade to pottery). Reconnecting with wonder looks different for everyone. For me, it started small.
I started noticing clouds again. Actually stopping on the sidewalk and looking up. I started buying cozy fantasy books. Not the digital versions, but physical copies that I could hold in my hand. I started letting myself get genuinely excited about a new flavor of ice cream. I started saying “oh, cool!” out loud when something was, in fact, cool.
It was a bit awkward at first. Kinda like putting on a shirt you haven’t worn in twenty years and wondering if it still fits. But it did fit. It fit surprisingly well.
Why this matters more when you’re in midlife
In case you’re skeptical, there’s actually science behind this. Research on happiness and aging shows that people who hold onto curiosity and playfulness tend to feel more satisfied with their lives. Wonder isn’t some childish thing you need to outgrow. It’s something that not only feels good but can positively impact your quality of life as you age!
And the beautiful thing is that we actually get to choose it. Nobody is scheduling our wonder for us or signing us up for it. If we want it, we have to decide we want it and go looking for it on purpose. It’s ours to claim.
A few places I’ve found it lately
So where can you find wonder, joy, and delight? Here are some places where I’ve found it recently.
- Browsing through a used bookstore with no system or organization whatsoever
- Noticing the way frost forms on a window in a specific lacy pattern that’s different every time
- Staying awake until 3 am to watch a meteor shower that ended up with me seeing just one meteor
- Getting overly invested in a documentary about competitive dog grooming
- Teaching myself to make paper airplanes with better aerodynamics.
None of these things is profound. But then that’s kind of the point, isn’t it?
You don’t need to earn whimsy
Here’s one thing I had to unlearn. I kept waiting until everything I felt needed to be done was finished before I let myself play. I couldn’t do it until the inbox was clear, until the hard stuff was resolved, until I had somehow deserved a break from seriousness. But there are always chores to do and adult responsibilities to face, so that day never came. Adulthood, it seems, is a permanent condition.
Whimsy doesn’t come after you’ve finished being a grown-up. You need to let it come while you’re in the middle of it. It’s the thing that makes the middle of your life not only livable, but sometimes, genuinely wonderful.
So if you’re in your midlife and feeling a little too “adult”, a little too logical, a little too focused on whatever needs to be done next, maybe it’s time to look up at the clouds for a second. Or maybe it’s time to pick up that cool-looking rock.
You’re allowed. You always were.
