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If you were to ask most people, they would agree that we should all love ourselves. And yet, not only do many people not love themselves in healthy ways, but most don’t even know what positive self-love is. This is particularly true of those who are highly sensitive. A lack of self-love is a big problem in the energy-sensitive community. It is certainly something I have faced in my life as well. So I thought it was important to look at the subject of self-love and why that is important for the sensitives of the world. Most highly sensitive people have a negative and self-critical inner dialogue that repeats consistently in their lives. Many would be appalled at the way they speak to and about themselves if they could hear it from outside of their mind. For sensitives this is because they have been given messages throughout their lives that their sensitivity is somehow bad, fueling issues with poor self-esteem and low self-confidence. The feeling that “something is wrong with me” or “I’m not enough” is very strong in this group and it’s something I see over and over again.Low self-concept
Most sensitives understand that they “should” love themselves. But they are stuck in a pattern of negative self-concept. They simply hold beliefs about themselves that hold them back. These beliefs make them feel like they aren’t enough. What is your self-concept? It is the stories you tell about yourself and the beliefs you hold about yourself. The issue is that much of your self-concept was learned at a young age. And they were messages that were given to you from other imperfect and often wounded individuals. So the majority of your self-concept is most likely untrue. And it may be holding you back from experiencing your best life! If you struggle with a negative self-concept you will struggle to have self-love and self-confidence. If you believe stories about yourself that are limiting and negative it will be difficult to love yourself. But you can change those stories! It will require you to first become aware of them. Once you recognize those stories you can begin to flip that script and create new stories that are more positive and empowering for you.Taking time for you
How much time do you take to sit with your thoughts and listen to what you say to yourself regularly? Most people let their thoughts and emotions run on autopilot. And it allows those negative stories to run like a hamster on a wheel. Much of the work we need to do to change the patterns that hold us back and keep us depleted as sensitives involves sitting with ourselves, being still, and becoming aware of the stories we tell ourselves.Some common stories or beliefs sensitives hold about themselves:
- Something is wrong with me
- I have to take care of everyone
- No one can love me because I’m just too different
- I don’t deserve good things in life
- I am responsible for healing others
- People will not like me if I say no
- Taking care of myself is selfish
- Wanting nice things is selfish
- I’m a failure
- I’m not enough
The silent film star Charlie Chaplin wrote this amazing poem that helps to define self love….
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”. As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”. As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”. As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”. As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”. As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first, I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”. As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”. As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”. As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”. We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations, or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”! Charlie Chaplin
