If you live with AuDHD (autism + ADHD), you’ve probably had moments where you’ve wondered why you cannot seem to stop craving sugar, carbs, or comfort foods. You just overeat like crazy! And if you’re going through midlife on top of that? The cravings can feel even stronger, and the shame can creep in fast.

But here’s the truth I wish more of us had learned decades ago: It’s not a moral failing. It’s your neurodivergent brain and nervous system trying to cope, regulate, and survive.

Let’s break down what’s actually going on under the surface.

Our AuDHD brains are wired to seek dopamine

ADHD brains live in a state of low baseline dopamine, the neurotransmitter behind motivation, reward, and energy. Sugar and simple carbs give us a very quick dopamine hit, one our brains use to feel more regulated, focused, and grounded.

That doesn’t mean we’re “addicted to sugar.” It means our brains are constantly trying to get the chemistry they need.

This explains the cycle so many of us know too well: craving → dopamine hit → crash → craving again.

Sensory needs play a huge role

Autistic sensory systems can be either overwhelmed or under-stimulated, and food…especially sweet, warm, soft, crunchy, or starchy foods, becomes a tool for regulation.

For some of us, crunchy carbs feel soothing. For others, creamy or soft foods help calm the nervous system. Warm, starchy meals can make a dysregulated system feel safe again. Food becomes sensory self-regulation, not just nourishment.

Emotional intensity and comfort eating

People with AuDHD often experience emotions at full volume, yet regulating those emotions can be incredibly difficult. Sugar and carbs offer a sense of relief. They provide something predictable and comforting when we’re overwhelmed, overstimulated, or sliding into shutdown.

Some of the biggest triggers include:

• Stress

• Masking fatigue

• Menopause mood swings

• Rejection-sensitive dysphoria

• Decision overload

• Just plain existing in a chaotic world

Food becomes a quick, accessible way to soothe ourselves when everything else feels too hard.

Executive dysfunction makes eating harder than it sounds

Planning meals, prepping food, remembering to eat, and noticing hunger cues is a lot of executive function. Many of us struggle to keep food routines consistent, especially during hyperfocus periods or times of burnout.

This often looks like:

• Forgetting to eat until we’re starving

• Feeling too overwhelmed to cook

• Not having easy food ready

• Crashing later and overeating whatever is fastest

• Eating mostly carbs because they’re the easiest “safe foods”

Carbs aren’t bad; they’re accessible. And when we’re depleted, accessibility wins every time.

Interoception challenges (AKA: “Do I even know what my body needs?”)

Interoception is the sense that tells you what’s going on inside your body. Many AuDHD adults, especially women diagnosed later in life, struggle with this. We may not notice hunger until we’re shaky, or we misinterpret thirst, fatigue, or emotional distress as food cravings.

This miscommunication can lead to:

• Feeling hungry all the time

• Craving sugar when we’re actually anxious

• Eating because we’re overstimulated, not hungry

• Getting hit with sudden, intense carb cravings

It’s not about overeating. It’s about missing the quieter signals before hunger becomes a crisis.

Safe foods often = carbs

Many neurodivergent adults have long-standing sensory-based food preferences. Certain foods simply feel safer or more predictable, and these are often carb-heavy.

Think:

• Pasta

• Bread

• Potatoes

• Cereal

• Crackers

• Sweets

• Toast (the #1 neurodivergent love language)

These foods are consistent. They don’t surprise us. They don’t require emotional or sensory energy. That predictability is comforting.

Midlife hormones intensify everything

Perimenopause and menopause can worsen:

• Emotional dysregulation

• Fatigue

• Blood sugar instability

• Impulsivity

• Anxiety

• Sleep disruption

All of these amplify cravings and the need for fast comfort. So if you’ve noticed your relationship with food changing dramatically in midlife, you’re not imagining it.

Your body and brain are shifting, and they’re asking for what helps them cope.

Masking and social exhaustion → nighttime overeating

One of the most common patterns I see in AuDHD women is eating very little during the day and then overeating at night. It’s not laziness or a lack of discipline.

It’s because nighttime is when the mask finally comes off.

Your brain wants:

• Comfort

• Reward

• Dopamine

• Sensory soothing

• A way to decompress

• A predictable self-regulation tool

Food becomes that tool.

This has absolutely been the pattern for me. I can go without all day and then come home at night and wolf down lots of carb and sugar-heavy foods. So I know this pattern well!

So what can we do? (without restriction or shame)

Here are some gentle, neurodivergent-friendly approaches that actually work:

Eat earlier and more consistently

Even if it’s something small—yogurt, nuts, fruit, or toast with protein.

Keep low-effort, no-prep foods on hand

Not necessarily “healthy”—just easier than grabbing pure carbs.

Add instead of restricting

Pair carbs with protein or fiber so you get steady energy without crashes.

Address sensory needs directly

Crunchy veggies, warm drinks, sour candies, chews, or gum can help regulate.

Build a small “meal safety net”

A few go-to meals that don’t require executive function.

Support your emotional regulation separately

Breathwork, stimming, nervous-system resets, journaling, or resting—not just food.

You’re Not Broken. Your Needs Just Weren’t Understood.

Many of us grew up believing our cravings were unhealthy or our overeating was a lack of self-control. But the truth is much more compassionate:

Your AuDHD brain has been trying to keep you regulated, safe, and functional. Once you understand your neurology, everything starts to make sense.