The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But for many people with AuDHD (Autism + ADHD), this time of year can feel overwhelming, disorienting, and emotionally draining. The mix of sensory overload, social expectations, disrupted routines, and performance pressure can make the holidays feel like an endurance test rather than a festive break.
Here are some of the most common challenges—and ways to support your nervous system, honor your needs, and move through the season with more ease.
Sensory overload everywhere!
The challenge:
Holiday environments tend to be loud, bright, crowded, and chaotic: stores packed with shoppers, family gatherings with overlapping conversations, kitchens full of noise, flashing lights, strong scents, and nonstop stimulation. For AuDHD nervous systems, this can quickly lead to shutdown, overwhelm, irritability, or withdrawal.
Healthy ways to navigate:
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Build in sensory escapes: Identify quiet rooms, outdoor spaces, or even your car, where you can take breaks.
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Carry sensory supports: Earplugs, noise-canceling headphones, fidgets, sunglasses, grounding stones—whatever works for your body.
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Control what you can: Keep your own home environment calm. Gentle lighting, minimal decorations, soft music.
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Pre-regulate: Before going into a high-sensory environment, do something calming: deep pressure, breathwork, stretching, warm showers, or time alone.
Social expectations & masking fatigue
The challenge:
Holidays often come with long social gatherings, small talk, unspoken rules, and pressure to appear cheerful and engaged. People with AuDHD may mask hard during these events, pushing themselves to be “on,” read social cues, and suppress their natural responses. This leads to burnout quickly.
Healthy ways to navigate:
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Set time limits for social events. Seriously, give yourself an exit strategy.
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Let supportive people know in advance that you may need breaks or might leave early.
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Choose your social bandwidth intentionally: You don’t have to attend everything. One or two meaningful gatherings may be better than five stressful ones.
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Practice unmasking in safe spaces: If you have trusted people, let yourself stim, step away, or be quiet without apology.
Disrupted routines
The challenge:
During the holidays, schedules vanish, sleep patterns change, meals are at odd times, and routines get thrown out the window. For AuDHD brains that rely on structure to feel anchored, this can be deeply dysregulating.
Healthy ways to navigate:
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Keep micro-routines: Even small consistency helps…morning tea, evening wind-down, journaling, stretching, daily walk.
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Use visual plans or calendars to create predictability during unpredictable days.
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Prioritize sleep as a non-negotiable.
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Communicate your needs around timing and transitions when possible.
Food and sensory needs around eating
The challenge:
Holiday foods may have textures, smells, or flavors that are challenging for sensory-sensitive eaters. Eating around others can also bring pressure, shame, or judgment.
Healthy ways to navigate:
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Bring safe foods. There is no age limit on comfort meals.
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Advocate gently: “I eat better when I stick to my safe foods.”
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Create a sensory-friendly plate: avoid mixing textures, use small portions, stick to what your body knows.
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Take breaks during meals if needed.
Decision fatigue & executive dysfunction
The challenge:
Holiday planning is basically an executive function nightmare: gifts, budgets, travel logistics, schedules, cooking, and remembering deadlines. AuDHD brains can freeze or get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of tasks.
Healthy ways to navigate:
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Simplify everything possible: fewer gifts, fewer events, fewer obligations.
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Use lists, timers, or reminders to reduce cognitive load.
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Buy duplicates of gifts or use the same “theme” for everyone to remove guesswork.
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Delegate where possible.
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Give yourself permission to opt out of complicated traditions.
Emotional dysregulation & “holiday pressure”
The challenge:
AuDHD nervous systems often feel emotions intensely. The holiday season has its own emotional weight…nostalgia, grief, expectations, interpersonal tension, and the pressure to be “happy.”
This can activate emotional overwhelm or shutdown.
Healthy ways to navigate:
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Name your feelings without judging them.
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Build in nervous system regulation tools: breathwork, grounding, tapping, movement.
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Schedule downtime before and after social events.
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Remind yourself: You do not owe anyone holiday cheer.
Interpersonal tension & misunderstandings
The challenge:
Family dynamics, boundary-pushers, passive-aggressive comments, or people who don’t understand your neurodivergence can add an extra layer of stress.
Healthy ways to navigate:
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Prepare scripts for uncomfortable moments:
“I’m taking a break, I’ll be back in a bit.”
“I’m not discussing that today.”
“That’s not helpful. Let’s change the subject.” -
Set boundaries in advance:
“I’ll stay for two hours” or “I won’t talk about my health/job/personal choices.” -
Identify your safe people and stick near them.
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Give yourself permission to leave if the environment becomes harmful.
Post-holiday crash
The challenge:
After weeks of overstimulation, masking, disrupted routines, and emotional intensity, many people with AuDHD experience a burnout crash in January.
Healthy ways to recover:
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Schedule downtime into your calendar before the season begins.
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Plan a “recovery weekend” after major gatherings.
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Lower expectations for the first week of the new year.
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Practice sensory decompression: quiet rooms, dim lights, soft blankets, grounding foods.
You deserve a holiday that works for your brain
The holidays don’t have to be something you survive. With awareness, sensory support, boundaries, and self-permission, you can create a season that feels gentler, calmer, and more aligned with your needs as a neurodivergent person.
You’re not “too much,” “too sensitive,” or “doing the holidays wrong.” Your nervous system just works differently, and honoring that is a form of self-love.
