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In 2023 as I became more of who I am I began telling people that I am embracing my inner woo-woo. But what exactly does that mean? Well, we are all impacted by social conditioning. As children, we are taught which behaviors, beliefs, personality traits, and elements of who we are are “acceptable” to our parents, teachers, family members, friends, and society.
And we are often told that those parts of us that aren’t so acceptable to others are somehow bad or wrong…even if they aren’t. So we tend to hide those parts of ourselves away from the world to better fit in and to be accepted. Some examples of this now are people with different gender identities than what others deem “normal”. Sexual preferences, or alternative lifestyles also often are seen as wrong. But the result of this message that some element of who we are is bad is that we never show the world all of who we are. We hide away some of the most beautiful, special, and glorious parts of ourselves. We dim our sparkle so that we can better fit in. And I certainly realized that I had been doing that for so much of my life.
My hidden woo-woo
There is so much about me that I haven’t shared with others. Like so many, I’ve kept my own personal woo-woo hidden from the world. I do share that I’m a sensitive empath. Being sensitive isn’t openly accepted by society. Sensitives are constantly told to toughen up, that we are too sensitive, or that we are being overly dramatic. In my experience, I hid behind a leadership mask and was a raging people-pleaser in an attempt to hide my so-called “flaw”. But as a sensitive, my needs were rarely met…in jobs or relationships. And honestly, I didn’t even know what my needs were until a couple of years ago. I had to be willing to embrace that part of me so I could better understand what I needed.
I also never had children although I was married for 9 years. But I didn’t get married until I was 37. And I realized pretty early on in my marriage that I didn’t really want kids. My ex didn’t want them either. He already had a daughter who was grown and gone. But you would be amazed at what a taboo topic that can be. I was asked constantly when we were going to have kids. It is just expected that after you get married, you will naturally want to build a family. But the reactions I got when I told people that we didn’t want kids was surprising. I can’t tell you how uncomfortable that made people!
Another big thing that I’ve hidden from the world is my deconstruction from organized religion. I worked in ministry for more than 20 years and was very active in organized religion for the overwhelming majority of my life. I live in the bible belt, so most people who know me would be shocked if they knew that I no longer believe in organized religion. Do I believe in God? I absolutely believe in a higher Divine power.
in 2014 I faced a few traumatic events. I lost my Mom to cancer, I lost my voice (I was a vocal coach and singer), and my marriage ended. I went through what could only be called a “dark night of the soul”. During that time in my life, I began questioning so many things. That included organized religion. I felt such a strong calling to be love in the world. But there were so many things within the organized religion I was a part of that were far from loving. So many parts of the Bible that are violent, and that I cannot wrap my head around.
Deconstructing was hard. I grieved that for a long time. It was such a part of my identity and my life. I will definitely be sharing more about my deconstruction experience. It is very complex and challenging.
Not following the crowd
Spend some time online and you’re sure to run across the latest trends in everything from fashion to shopping to entertainment. And you can see lots of people hopping on the bandwagon for different trends at any given time. I guess it’s a way to be more acceptable to others. But the older I get the less I care about following the crowd. I certainly don’t think like most people. I like to form my own opinions and forge my own path. And I prefer to do my own thing. And the more I connect with my authentic self, the more I want to follow my own inner compass.
Maybe that makes me a rebel, or maybe it just makes me a bit weird. Honestly, I don’t care. I’m going to do me and not listen to what others tell me I should do, or who I should follow. And I like it that way.
The parts of me
All of these elements of who I am are a part of my own “inner woo-woo”. I hid these parts of myself (and more) from the world. But I’m learning to embrace those parts of myself instead of just hiding them. I no longer want to be just a shell of who I am. I don’t want to live my life trying to fit in and follow the crowd. There is a call deep within me to fully be me. So I am embracing my inner woo-woo and learning to love myself!
What are the parts of you that you keep hidden from the world? Your inner woo-woo is waiting to be set free, so be unapologetically you!