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If you’ve been following me here and on social media for a while, you may notice that I post a lot of very positive content. I also encourage positive thinking as much as possible. And there are plenty more influencers, experts, and regular people that promote positivity as well.
But there is another group of people that warns about the spiritual dangers of being positive all of the time. And who stress the importance of being real and feeling all of your feelings.
But what if you’ve been feeling yucky, heavy emotions a lot. Are you supposed to stay in that place? And is thinking positive possibly even…dangerous?
Both sides are actually right…in a way. Let me explain.
Using positive thinking to disconnect
Being optimistic and focusing on the positive can be a very healthy thing. But there are some people who take it too far. Some people use positivity as a means to disconnect from their emotional selves completely. This can be especially problematic for energy-sensitives.
Those of us who are sensitive feel things deeply…very, VERY deeply! We feel emotions so strongly that it can be pretty overwhelming for us at times. So it is easy to want to find things to hide behind and to use to disconnect from ourselves so we don’t have to feel so much. We need an emotional energy break, so we find ways to escape. But most of us don’t have the tools to properly release and transmute the overload of energy we carry.
So many sensitives turn to an unhealthy, chronic form of positivity as an attempt to cope. It’s an unconscious, protective mechanism that is meant to help us. But ultimately it can keep the energy we so desperately need to release stagnant and not flowing.
Those who are in a pattern of unhealthy, fake positivity tend to get defensive about their positivity. They don’t seem to want to accept any of their heavier, and denser emotions. These are the people who use positivity almost to deny emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, jealousy, and fear even exist. But that’s not the case.
But does this mean that positive thinking is bad? Let’s look at the other side of it.
Bad energy habits
Those who say that we need to feel our feelings are correct. And knowing how to do that in a healthy way is important! Problems occur however when people get stuck in their negative emotions…and stay there.
You probably know someone who is what we would call a “Negative Nelly”. These people complain all the time and are constantly having bad things happen in their lives. And they like to share all of the bad in their lives with us! It’s draining! We also know of these people as “energy vampires”. Their energy is so dense that, you feel exhausted after spending time around them.
Those “Negative Nellies” have become stuck in a never-ending pattern of negative thoughts and emotional energy. The energy in your life is a habit. Read that again! If you have certain patterns of negative thoughts or negative emotions that seem to go nowhere, then that pattern has become a bad habit.
We are not designed to stay in a pattern of negative emotional energy for extended periods of time. That causes stress in the body, which in turn leads to chronic illness. And yet, we live in a time, when most people are prisoners of their own bad emotional energy patterns. There are a whole lot of people who are stuck on the hamster wheel of negativity, but don’t know how to get off!
A healthy balance
So what is the answer? It’s actually quite simple. We humans just have a tendency to make things far more difficult than they need to be!
We absolutely need to acknowledge our emotions. I use to watch Dr. Phil when he first started his show on television. He always used to say “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”. And that is true with your emotional habits as well!
Problems arise when we lack self-awareness. And those trying to escape, numb, or distract themselves from having self-awareness of their emotions stay stuck and have trouble changing those habits.
Allow yourself to honor your emotions
I consider myself a pretty positive person. And many would say that I am a part of the positive thinking crowd. But I have bad days and moments too. I have the occasional emotional meltdown. I overreact to things at times (after all, that is a trait of emotional sensitivity). I experience the full spectrum of emotions. But I don’t pack my bags and stay.
I used to be one of those “Negative Nellies” when I was younger. I didn’t know how to manage energy. And I didn’t know that I had a choice about how I was feeling either. I felt stuck and miserable. And I did a lot to escape and numb those feelings.
The difference for me began to happen when I allowed myself to sit with an emotion without judgment. I just allowed myself to be present and just experience it, without trying to stuff it away or distract myself from it.
Try it yourself!
When a difficult emotion comes up, it can be uncomfortable. But instead of dealing with it in an unhealthy way, take a quiet moment. Allow yourself to experience that emotion, without judging it and without your thoughts running off on a tangent about it. Just notice it. We often carry the perception that those emotions are “bad” because they don’t feel good. But as uncomfortable as they make us, they also help to teach us valuable lessons and to grow.
As you allow yourself to sit with that emotion, take a couple of slow, deep breaths. Release some tension from your shoulders and allow them to drop. As you focus your attention on that feeling, you’ll notice its energy begin to dissipate.
Emotions are energy. And energy likes to flow. But the more we resist our emotions, the more we prevent that flow. What you resist persists. By turning our attention to those challenging emotions and being with them it allows the energy to flow again, and we begin to release it!
Positive thinking and living positively isn’t dangerous unless it’s being done in unhealthy ways. By resisting all of our emotions we trap the flow of energy. This can lead to mental, emotional, and physical challenges.
Allowing ourselves to honor those emotions and allow the flow of energy brings us to a healthier place to practice living a positive life!